A Strike From The Past: Questioning

Why keep coming to my dream? 

Why took a very good and gentle care of me? 

Are you still thinking of me? 

Or

Is it just me who really miss a very good and gentle kind of care?

Because it felt so good

And so pure

And so real

I felt

Loved

It takes me

To the last time you, yourself, directly met me

Said that you'd borrowed my math book

I didn't think I'd said "yes, you can come."

Because I was so afraid back then

I don't know why I'm always afraid of you

But I said "yes, you can come."

Then you came

Parked your car in front of my house

I welcomed you

Even made you a cup of tea

Grabbed my math book and gave it to you

And we were talking

And talking

Four eyes

Face to face

For the very first time to us

And pretty sure it was for the last time too

I was really sure that there wasn't any thing except you borrowed my math book

And you would use it for learning

Because you said you will face a test

You talked about you're going to college abroad

Cool, I said

And that was it

You didn't say any thing anymore

And then the time was going late and you got to go home

Still remember you and your car went away

And that was it

Actually, what you wanted to say? 

Actually, what you really wanted to ask? 

Was it really just a math book? 

With that effort and guts? 

With that finally-you can-asked-me-then-I-allowed-you-to-come-and-visit-me-directly-to-my-house, did the math book really matter?

IT WAS A FUCKING MATH BOOK

Well

It was just for a math book, right? 

Or

I was the one too naive? 

Too dumb? 

Well

It was just for a math book

Yes, for sure

Let's end it there